Trapped Wind.

I knew the man on the train had eaten KFC
I knew this fact because
his bowels were telling me.
When I say that they were 'telling' me it was more of an aggressive shout..
If his arse had been a man,
He'd have been a ticket tout.
When I say 'ticket tout',
I don't meant the guy with a spare,
I mean the Cretin outside Highbury and Islington,
with the Terry Wogan hair.
When I say Terry Wogan,
this isn't about 'Children in Need'
It's about a man on the train to Tower Hill,
Whose farts made my nasal hair bleed.